so we're sitting in church,

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and i notice the girl in front of my brother.

i normally notice little children; the cuter the outfit, the more i notice the child. (i have a thing for kiddie clothes; they are so nice! when i was young, i was always in dresses and hats and stuff. true, it was because i was bald (i gained hair when i was four years old) but you never see adults do that. well, not sane adults.)

anyway, this girl was wearing a green sundress-ish dress, with a bonnet-ish hat, and mary janes. she looked adorable. but that wasn't the reason why i noticed her.

i noticed her, because she was staring fixedly at my brother.

now, my friends know that i attract children like some sort of magnet. i don't know why, children just seem to find something they like in me. i have gotten random spurts of affection from ones i don't even know; a child once gave me donuts on the mrt!

but if i have some sort of kiddie magnet, well, my brother could be the kiddie magneto. children love him. intensely. when we sit together, sometimes, children ignore me in favor of him. that's how powerful his...kid magnet is. (no, we are not calling it pheromones. eww.)

funnily enough, for people who know both of us, they also will note that my brother is sort of a little...anti-social. (fine, he's a lot anti-social) my brother has said, on more than one occasion, that if talking to some adults is a waste of time, talking to all children is a waste of all, even more. (i honestly do not know what happened to my brother. he used to be such a bright, friendly human being. hmmm.)

anyway, back to the cute child in mary janes. realizing my brother was not going to look at her, (like, ever) decided to try sitting on the church pew to look at him some more.

my brother, who is used to being stared at by children, just kept ignoring her. i felt sorry for the child. eventually, she noticed me, but for the most part, she kept her eyes on my brother.
(i kept hoping she would fall and my brother, who was behind her, would have have to catch her. total shoujo moment, i know. but still. she's cute! and about ten years younger than him. haha.)

when we left church, she even waved at us. this charmed my parents. (and me.) my brother ignored her in search of popcorn. (in our church, instead of puto bumbong, there is a popcorn stand outside, i have no idea why it's popcorn, and not puto. they're both yummy, though.)

the next night, who do we sit behind but the girl again? it is sort of kismet now, as we do keep sitting behind them.

she spends the night staring adoringly at him again, in that cute and sort of stalker-ish way you sort of hope never to see in children.

she also spends parts of the ceremony singing and dancing. it is a little weird now, not to mention annoying because we are getting distracted from the ceremony. thankfully, she quiets down.

at the end of the mass, she waves again.

i smile, and wave back at her. my brother rolls his eyes at her, and goes.

well, it is an improvement.

chocolate supremacy

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the other day, my mother and i made chocolate.

this is a new lyn restauro' hobby: since my mother isn't working anymore, she has decided to enrich her dessert making skills. she's starting with chocolate and working her way up. (something i am very glad about; she had a tendency to grab everything beforehand; my mother had a baking phase and we were subjected to endless piles of crusty crinkles and flat cookies.)

anyway, she's been enjoying herself with making us chocolate. (it's been hard on me, really. i can't seem to like chocolate as much as i used to now that i see it everywhere.) my father insists she sell the stuff, and she's thinking about it.

well, but i digress. (obviously)

so, one time, in view of enriching my own kitchen skills (of which there are, well, none), i asked my mother to teach me how to make chocolate. my mother, overjoyed that i was finally showing signs of caring about how food was made, gamely spent the rest of the day arranging stuff for chocolate making.

the first try, i watched her.

it seemed easy enough.

melt the chocolate, put whatever ingredients you want into the mix, mold it, and set.

well, seemed is the operative word.

it was difficult!

the chocolate wouldn't melt properly, i couldn't understand how many of the add-ons to add was a sweet disaster.

at one point, i thought i could smell burning chocolate. (i can hear you laughing. meanie.)

at the end, i managed to make one batch of normal-looking chocolate circles.

my mother had made ten.


atleast now i know how to make chocolate paste?

lantern, schmantern, loveturn.

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so i went to lantern parade.

well, i sort of went to lantern parade.

originally, lantern wasn't part of the plan. as far back as november (i know, november is not far. go away.) i thought i would be so busy with my new life as a graduate, i wouldn't even have time to remember it was time for lantern craziness.

but, as they say, the best laid plans, remain plans.

so the day before lantern, i was in CMC, watching twenty billion versions of nobody by the wondergirls.

thankfully, den rescued me from the korean pop craziness by asking me to meet her and make a lantern day and night of it.

i spent the morning in the dep, helping students attempting to reach profs, and then some.

finally, i went out to see how this year's lantern was shaping up.

it was...underwhelming. in so many ways. to anyone who has ever been to lantern, they would immediately share my sentiments.

there was only about five food stalls around the oval. usually, these stalls would cover the whole length of the oval--you literally had tons of choices of where to buy what to eat.

there was also less people. i was actually able to walk around without bumping into anyone!

as to bumping into people, i only had about seven encounters (uy encounters) with former orgmates and classmates and stuff. seven! usually i walk around exchanging heys and eyebrow lifts with a lot of people!

add to that, it started drizzling.

i was already feeling down, more so because den was late. (we were already kind of snitty with our texting, ehe.) finally, she arrived.

ofcourse, i became a bit cheerier, because the rain let up and we found it difficult to get out of school. (this made me happy because having difficulty with transportation was a lantern thing. this always happens to me and den, without fail.)

the plan was, after we realized lantern was just making us sad, to ditch lantern and just go somewhere else, like north (we were going to walk around and compare how sm had managed to evolve and still be so...hmm.) and just talk.

unfortunately, because we couldn't get out, we just ate at long i and settled down to watch lantern. (another reason to be dismayed: we were actually able to sit in the oval and watch lanterns going past with no obstructions!)

to be fair, the lanterns were still amazing. FA, as usual, had this amazing halo halo lantern that we both adored (we ended up searching for razon's at trinoma that night). we also liked the elephant and dragon lanterns. awesome CS lantern as well. i had a bad moment with the CMC lantern, because so few people were there. i felt guilty, thinking that i should have joined in.

in the end, we had fun.

and though it was a little different from our 'stay till morning in sunken lanterns' before, i still enjoyed myself.

there may have been less of everything, but then again, it just makes you appreciate what is there all the more.

maybe next year, i will be totally busy.
hopefully, i won't be too busy to go to lantern and wave.

gummy love.

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i'm in the dep, waiting for my meeting, and fielding stuff from students and staff and all that. (ate vie, i miss you. i had an inkling about how difficult your job was, and now that i am experiencing it firsthand, whoa. this is just a really long-winded way of saying please come back soon. haha. hearts.)

i want to write about my first commres dep party, about preparing while texting, gorging on food, giving gifts, and videoke with my profs, but i am afraid i will not be able to give much justice to the whole experience.

plus, i have been thinking (never a good sign, i know) of someone a lot lately. i had this friend in high school, who we shall call 'potchi' (ayun, oh, sobrang hidden naman nito). we technically grew up together, since we attended the same school for kinder, prep, elem and HS, but we only became friends in fifth grade.

it was a small school, but then again, i was always a little too go along with the flow (i took dors' manhaters club seriously, even haha) so i never really noticed people who were in other sections.

when he introduced himself in class that first day of grade five, i remember thinking, 'why are you so tall? hmp.' (you really ARE too tall, you know. and once i discover how we can swab a few inches off you to land on me, hahabulin talaga kita)

then we became seatmates, mostly because of emma, who was in his service and village.

and we became friends.

i remember those days when i could depend on you for anything, eating my lunch, disgusting stories, funny lines, homework help, an extra pair of hands (after a ton of complaints about having to be a gentleman), and...gummy candy.

we were just average, then.

sixth grade changed things. we were in the same class, and we were still friends, but then. you started dancing, i started eating my lunch...we suddenly has less in common, and more time spent on other things.

once, you asked me about high school. i don't remember what i said, but somehow, we stayed in hss.

and you fell in love. that first year, with one of my sweetest friends. i remember hurting for you, knowing she was in love with someone else.

but you bounced back.

suddenly, you were taller, hotter (ehem. galing yan sa ibang tao. i will always maintain that the only thing you have going for you is the height. and the dancing. and maybe the singing. but that's it.)

suddenly, you fell in love, and she loved you back. i was so happy for you, laughing at all the outrageously corny ideas you had for monthsaries and annives. (aminin mong corny ka. feeler)

come third year, we were both so far from each other, it was hard to remember ever having been your duet partner.

and by then, i had fallen in love as well, and was wondering what to do about it. (oh, now now, wag feeler. i wasn't in love with you. chill chill, as you say.)

i remember senior year, when you asked me about schools. you were happy we were applying to many of the same, and i was thrilled when we got into many of the same schools.

maybe i was harboring a secret hope that we would be friends again. maybe.

during graduation, you hugged me, and thanked me for everything. i did the same, and as we exchanged all the creepy emotions and motions that seem to burst out in full during grad, i wonder how much of what we said i really meant.

i'll never know, because we never went to the same school.

and we have never talked again. they say you've changed, in more ways than one.

i can say the same for me. i'm poles different from the me that i was then.

but right now.

i don't know.

i wonder about you, and i always wonder about one thing: do you still eat gummy candies? pochi has long since disappeared, but there are others. i have currently fallen (again) for your favorite trolli burger.

i've always felt we were like gummy candies.

we always bounce back.

i still hope we can, because i miss having someone match me sing.

***no, no, no. this is not a love letter. i wish i had fallen in love with the person here, but then again, different strokes. it's just this letter has been in my head for a while, and i thought of putting it to paper (digital paper haha). i wish i had a way for him to read this, but i don't. i've been trying to write again, so this is another exercise of that.***

all i want for christmas is..

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well, a lot.

i have been stalking jessica zafra's blog (it is my new favorite net activity, reading awesome blogs: jessica zafra's, amanda's blog, barney's...) and she had an entry asking everyone what their holiday wishes were.

i was thinking of replying, but then i wish list would be way too long.

so i'm posting it on my own blog, in the hopes that one of my long-time admirers (of which there are two--my mom and my dad) get at least one thing on the list for me.

1. BOOKS. i have a lot of books that i want, but as of now...i wish for:

* superfreakonomics ( i am reading freakonomics, it is awesome.)
* the book thief
* dante's game
* the complete princess diaries (they are such funny books)
* the complete correspondence, griffin & sabine (yes, this is a dream.)
* my own copy of a constant princess, and the time traveller's wife (books i have read, which i hope to own)
* my lost books: flipped, all american girl 1&2...i don't even have the strength to remember all the books lost to me.
* Stardust, the illustrated edition, although I wouldn't say no to the graphic novel version :)

2. THAT SAMSUNG PHONE. Samsung has a new phone, called the Blue Earth, made of eco-friendly material. It is the first ever eco-phone--it's solar powered! And cutesy. I want it. It is not available in the Philippines. Ah, me.

3. DVD'S! I wish for an original DVD of Up, Stardust (yes, I am in love with all things Stardust), and Michael Jackson's last concert, the one they showed in theaters? Also! Kimmydora, and Gakuen Alice.

4. A plane ticket to New York, to visit my Inna. (I miss you, my dearest. Please harass nate archibald for me.)

5. The Complete Season One of Glee, as well as the Music to Glee. I also wish for Seasons 3 and 4 of Chuck. (When are you showing in the Philippines? I miss Chuck. Argh.)

6. I want movie buddies to The Princess and the Frog. (It's DISNEY. In 2D again. Come on!)

7. I want people to go with to see Rent. (Hello. Rent. Do I even need to explain Rent?)

8. I want a penguin. Alright, a stuffed penguin. (I have only recently figured out that Bad Badtz Maru is a penguin. I always thought he was some sort of mean-spirited dog. Anyway, erase that, because I don't want Badtz Maru for Christmas.) Pengii looks lonely alone. He needs a friend. (And I need a friend who will give me that friend. haha)

9. A one terabyte hard drive. I have been downloading a lot lately....

10. That carrot cake from Bulacan! Why oh why did the baker person have to move away?!

11. David Henrie, from Wizards of Waverly Place. (I wish I knew why, but I find him reaally cute.)

And, to offset all this greed, I also wish:

1. For happiness for all my friends, especially with regard to love. Everyone I know seems to be in some sort of love-related slump. So, I wish for love for everyone.

2. Discernment for voters, so that they realize that:

* some candidates ARE NOT THEIR PARENTS
* some candidates ALREADY HAD THEIR CHANCE

*yes, i do have bias. i am presently narrowing my presidential choices to gilbert teodoro, or manny villar. more on this later.*

3. World Peace.

Hmmm. I guess offsetting didn't work.

So, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? Top three things! Reply to this post! Or, if you are like me, post your own wish list! Who knows, you might get all of it!


And please, don't grumble? It's a wish list. Anyone who actually gets me something here must really love me. (or be my parents.) After all, I am, above all, a push over. Greetings do it for me, in some ways. :) happy holidays.

the first thirteenth. (although this really is just about getting over a crush)

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last week, my former boss texted me, saying that i should grab my thirteenth month from the office.

i did a double take.

i had thirteenth month pay?

i mean, i wasn't even employed.

anyway, i did some research, and it turns out,there is a labor law that says you get paid the commensurate amount of work you did, even when you leave.

which, for me, is awesome. (what? i am unemployed)

so, today, i went to mcl, lugging with me my boss's birthday gift, and two books i bought in the spirit of christmas. (that is, in the spirit of christmas for myself: i bought freakonomics and wicked)

i had a fun time hanging out with the clc people, a few former "students" and officemates. and, ofcourse, there was him.

the last time i visited, i didn't see him.

but this time, R, no doubt possessed by that thing that hits all people involved in romantic relationships*, she dragged me to admissions and made me say hello. it helped that i had developed friendships with other people there--in fact, he is probably the only one i am not close to in admissions. (a trait of me being seriously in like with someone is that i never get close to them. if i'm close to you, you totally know we're never gonna be like that)

he is still as cute as he was last summer, perhaps with longer hair. he has also gotten slightly plump-er, although it is not very noticeable (unless you were semi-stalking him, which i was)

we chatted for a bit, inane things revolving around how many students registered, how was i doing, was he singing tonight, would i be coming back...after a bit more inanity, i realized i was holding his work up, and i said goodbye.

i duck out and head back to csro.

before i leave, i had to try my habit of trying (and forever failing) to see him in the ad double doors.

i saw him this time. he was talking to an applicant, smiling and gesturing.

he didn't notice me.

but you know what, this time, it feels different.

no butterflies or, uy nikikilig tones ringing in my ear.

just that nice feeling, of knowing i was leaving, but then again, i could always come back.

*by that thing, i mean, that strange sickness that makes every single committed person go around finding perfect matches for their single friends, with the bubbly, a bit heartwarming explanation of; 'i just want you to be as happy as me!' i have been the recipient of this treatment countless times. not once has it worked.