fifty from facebook

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Lately, people keep doing this thing where they tag you in facebook and make you do bulletins, sort of like the ones on Friendster. I rarely ever do it, but I'm bored and it's Dheng.

As always, I tag no one. :D

[ONE] Who was your last text from?
From Globe. I checked my balance. haha. Well, from Kwannie, who was just checking in.

[TWO] Where was your default pic taken?
My photo here (as in my blogger avatar, was taken in school, during class.) And my FB photo was taken in MOA, by my dad.

[THREE] Your relationship status?
In a relationship...with my self. :)

[FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend?

[FIVE] What is your current mood?
Ashamed, cause I was late today, bouncy-kilig because I'm listening to Matt Nathanson, busy thrills while doing work because, well, I am not really sure. Now I'm confused.

[SIX] What's your brother(s)/sister(s) names?

[SEVEN] Have you ever been torn between two lovers?
I wish. I don't think so.

[EIGHT] Where do you wish you were right now?
June 2010. :)

[NINE] Have a crazy side?
It's actually more than a side. har.

[TEN] Have you ever had a near death experience?

[ELEVEN] Something you do a lot?
This blog. Eating. Being whiny and sensitive.

[TWELVE] Angry at anyone??

[THIRTEEN] When was the last time you cried?
Last Saturday. Being stood up sucks.

[FOURTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for?

[FIFTEEN] What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
How my GU crush is doing,and hoping for an awesome tomorrow.

[SIXTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Ms. Elsa, my officemate.

[SEVENTEEN] What is your favorite song?
All we are, by Matt Nathanson. That's right now. Of all time, it's a tie between Hangin' by a Moment and If I am and Forever and Almost Always (Kate Voegele, not Taylor Swift).

[EIGHTEEN] What are you doing right now?
Hyperresearch coding for a project.

[TWENTY] Who do you trust right now?
God, my family, the Trophy friends, the Internmates and the Fzie.

[TWENTY-ONE] Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
From my closet.

[TWENTY-TWO] Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Second Fzie baby Kiel, and my family. I am currently harassing my brother, cause he's home, and I can!

[TWENTY-THREE] Who are your friends that live closest to you?
My next door patintero buddies.

[TWENTY-FOUR] Describe your life in one word.

[TWENTY-FIVE] Who are you thinking of right now?
Steve Jobs. For serious, man, is it really this difficult to use the Mac without updates? Argh.
Ian Somerhalder. You had me at; 'This is John Varvatos, man.' Swoon!
My busmate, who let me know the fascinating fact that we were both late. Har.

[TWENTY-SIX] What should you be doing right now?

[TWENTY-SEVEN] What are you listening to?
Matt Nathanson. :)

[TWENTY-EIGHT] Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
My mom.

[TWENTY-NINE] Who was the last person who yelled at you?
The Fzie. Yelling is sort of our thing.

[THIRTY] What is your natural hair color?

[THIRTY-TWO] Who was the last person to make you laugh?
My officemate, Ms. Gina, over the Twister Fries Debacle.

[THIRTY-THREE] Who was the last person to make you sad?
The friend who stood me up.

[THIRTY-FOUR] What do you hear?
My officemates debating Twister Fries over strains of All We Are.

[THIRTY-FIVE] Is your hair curly or straight?

[THIRTY-SIX] Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
I sincerely hope not. Although I would love it if someone called my cooking scrumptious.

[THIRTY-SEVEN] Do you have a best friend?

[THIRTY-EIGHT] Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
Do babies count? :)

[THIRTY-NINE] Do you use smiley faces on the computer?

[FORTY] Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

[FORTY-ONE] Are you happy with life right now?
Not so much happy as bouncy, I suppose. I'm getting to happy.

[FORTY-TWO] Are you currently jealous?
Yes. I want to be in bed like my brother is.

[FORTY-THREE] What jewelry are you currently wearing?
My earrings and necklace. I have this weird thing where I take off the hand stuff when I work.

[FORTY-FOUR] What were you doing last Friday night?
I was my brother's driver.

[FORTY-FIVE] Have you ever had your heart broken?

[FORTY-SIX] Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I sincerely hope not.

[FORTY-SEVEN] Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?

[FORTY-EIGHT] What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
Just the usual me reasons.

[FORTY-NINE] How late did you stay up last night and why?
I was up till 1am, because I got in at like 11 from Sonja's, and I had to edit something before bed.

[FIFTY]Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
No. I don't think I could.
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"They say it's a broken heart, but I hurt all over. I keep saying that I'm okay, but I'm not. What if I never get over Chuck you? What if I stay this way forever?"
(Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl)

and my junk is, you.

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It's raining/storming, and my Zen is playing the Spring Awakening soundtrack.

I realize that this song is not exactly about love, but the motions that come before it, but on an afternoon bursting with rain and shadows and the occasional play of thunder and lightning, it seems appropriate.

It is partly the beat, mostly the lines, most probably this mood.

Listen to this song here, and watch it here.

Lyrics below, mostly for fun.

In the midst of this nothing
This miss of a life
Still there's this wanting
Just to see you go by

It's almost like lovin'
Sad as that is

May not be cool,
But it's so where I live

It's like i'm your lover
Or more like your ghost
I spend the day wondering
What you do, where you go

I try and just kick it
But what can I do
We've all got our junk
And my junk is you

See us, winter walking after a storm
It's chill in the wind but it's warm in your arms
The stop all snow line, may not be true
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you

Well, you'll have to excuse me
I know it's so off
I love when you do stuff
That's rude and so wrong

I go up to my room
Turn the stereo on
Shoot up some you
And the you is some song

I lie back just driftin'
And play out these scenes
I ride on the rush
Of all the hopes, all the dreams

I may be neglecting
The things I should do
But we've all got our junk
And my junk is you

See we still keep talkin' after you're gone
You're still with me then feel so good in my arms
They say you go blind, maybe it's true
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you

It's like we stop time
What can I do?
We've all got our junk
And my junk is you
My junk is you
My junk is you

***Spring Awakening is a rock musical based on a German play by Frank Wedekind. It was adapted by Duncan Sheik (music) and Steven Sater (lyrics and book).

it's always so easy, dreaming.

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It starts out slow, the way we always do.

I will be laughing, or talking over something, and somehow, you will be there.

You always pop up. It's an enviable trait, and if I wasn't so...something's with you, I'd hassle you about it.

But I hate speaking in general terms, so let me lay it out for you:

A room, with giggling girls in nightwear. There is food all around, a horror movie on low, squeals and giggles, the occasional beep of a mobile phone.

It's a sleepover, sort of like what we had when we were in high school.

Okay. Definitely like high school.

But since it's not, talk turns, inevitably, to everyone from high school.

As always, it begins with a series of 'Remembers'

Remember that time we stayed late and tried to find ghosts?
Remember the office at night?
Remember that cute badminton player?
Remember the siopao?!
Remember graduation?

As always, I try to stay with them, to contribute my own remembers:

Remember the mani/pedi final?
Remember the teachers?
Remember Festival Mall?!

But it never works, completely.

And it becomes our own remember:

Remember the movies?
Remember locker switches?
Remember note passing?
Remember breaking my heart?

I know I'm being dramatic: you never broke my heart. We were too immature for that.

But sometimes, light hearted banter can hit home and hit hard.

And I just wonder, how much more of us is there?

Haven't I made it clear--the way you did--that this is not a good idea?

And I agree: we were never a good idea.

But we're an awesome dream.

**post wakeover, pre reality.

the Mac event.

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Well, as my ym stat declared, 'It's not Christmas without the stealing and dealing!'

Because something awful has happened: yesterday, one of the Mac mini's was stolen. (Just in case you live under a rock, this is what a mac mini looks like.) We use minis because it is easier to move into different areas and hook up to different systems, for presentations and data sharing and other things. They're cute, like having a laptop on the go. Also, it is easier to not throw the Mac mini away because I still carry around this fantasy that it is Justin Long, residing in the Apple logo.

Where was I? Ah yes, the stealing.

Being a dorm resident, I am used to sudden waves of thievery. Well, not really sudden; even thieves have a pattern: for dorm thieves, it is before sembreak (because of tuition), during Christmas (because of Christmas) and after Christmas (because, well, everyone is poor after Christmas). RIght now, since I do not like the idea of establishing a pattern for my workplace, I will just blame it on opportunity and Christmas.

This has thrown everything and everyone into a tizzy. We're basically just going around, reminding people to keep their valuables. I now have to hide my Justin (Long, cause, well, this is the only reason that this Mac and I are still friends) and re-connect it to the rest of my system. Sigh.

I'm so scared.

And also, intrigued. I mean. I don't think I have it in me to steal anything (Ninoy makes fun of me for chasing down this jeepney driver who I forgot to pay, back when we were students) because well, I just think stealing is wrong. It's like taking away something that a person slaved years for, or will atleast rot in debtor's hell, for a bit.

But then again, it's like that poem that you recite in third grade: the one about loaves and judging, and about providing food for the family. Can you really blame a person if circumstances lead him/her to crime?

If you grew up in a society (fine, community) that looks at stealing as a way of life, is it really wrong? Even, if you find the opportunity to be better off, even just a little bit, by taking something so small, and not hurting anyone (well, not physically, I guess), wouldn't you?

I hate when I get like this: I keep vacillating between looking at this through personal lens: it's wrong, and the 'sociological imagination' lens: it's society's fault, man!

It's things like this that makes me realize how messed up real life is. Nothing can ever be black and white, right and wrong.

There is always something gray, some slight variable that can make a wrong thing seem right.

I still think it's wrong to steal.

But I don't think I can speak for everyone.