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It was the moment we had been working towards this whole past two months: the surprise for our parents's 24th wedding anniversary. (Me fixing Tagaytay, my brother fixing our parents' favorite cake)

It almost didn't work, what with my brother being crazy. But thankfully, he arrived home with the cake at around ten in the evening, and we hurtled on into phase two, the actual surprise: 

The anniversary cake

And then we had the certificates and the cake, and the love.

All in all, our parents seem happy, which is the goal, really. 

I feel hanyan! all over again.

spell desperate.

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Amae, do I give off desperate for a boyfriend vibes? Do I reek of desperation, like Leonard?

So, I was happily working last week, when my friend IM'd me the above message. At that time, I was just a touch amused, mostly because the only way that particular friend of mine would have reeked Leonard-esque desperation for a love life would be if she shared more than the quality of being human with Leonard. (Which, considering that Leonard is a an awesome television character on an even more awesome television show, is highly unlikely.) Also, wasn't that particular episode of the Big Bang a filler one, because Kaley Cuoco got into that riding accident that broke her legs? So really, this is not that big of a deal.

So I did all my duties as a friend and reassured her that she was not approaching Leonard levels of desperation. Also, I verbally slapped her for thinking that we were even approaching that age where people become desperate, because. hello, we are living in an age where love knows no age. (At least, if you get all your relationship knowledge from the Hallmark Channel and Oprah, we are.) That and I do think my friend is legitimately hot.

Then this weekend, I was alone, having sent my parents off on their anniversary gift, when I remembered that particular quote, and I started on to being paranoid.

I mean, what if my friend had been doing that thing that friends do when they want to tell you something about you, but are unsure how to say it, so they spin it around on themselves, in the hopes that you will understand? (This trick is similar to when you tell someone something that happened to you by starting with, 'So I have this friend...)

What if my friend had been talking about me?

So then I had to think about that: was I desperate?

True, I now belong to a peer group that is more coupled up than not. And I kind of already have married friends. And people keep asking me what is up with all the people I meet up with and IM and stuff. (To which I say, I wish.) But that doesn't mean I want to be married.

I mean, not yet.

And this doesn't mean I don't have happy crushes, because I do. I have a lot of hanyan! moments with the happy crushes. But, I don't really feel anything more than hanyan!. It's really just, smiles.

Sure, I wouldn't say no to someone cute, smart, funny and understanding. But I haven't met anyone with all of the above. At best, I get three out of four. Which is something, I know. But surely there is no need to lower my standards just so I have a steady answer for where I will be Friday night.

I guess I just want to say I like being single. And while I wouldn't say no to a movie, or to dinner or anything like that (or to this heavenly looking chocolate bar), I can go to those places on my own.

Or take friends!

Hmm. Perhaps this is just one long-winded way to say, anyone want to come with me to EK? Because there are new rides, people, and there is now a haunted house. (Which, I tried the last time I was there, and it was terrifying. Mostly. Or maybe that was because my cousin was trying to save and kill me at the same time by pushing me out of the place.)
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"No. No one else dies for me. No more." 
(Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part1, movie)

"It's not just about you. You may be the chosen one, mate, but it affects all of us!" 
(Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part1, movie)

"I'm always mad at him." 
(Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part1, movie)

Does this not make it obvious where I was last night?

I am waiting for the hanyan! period to pass before I write about HP7. The quotes above were three of my favorite moments for Harry, Ron and Hermione. 

In all honesty, I am just predisposed to love, love, love this movie. Because it is the signal of the real end of HP, and I am not certain about my readiness to lose Harry, even after growing up with him.


This is my favorite movie poster/screenshot/whateveryoucallems:

It really does feel like an end.

Photo taken from this site.

***I may have misheard/misquoted. Still in happy lalala mode. 

random rambles: TVD thoughts

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It's been a few days, and it is a few days more, till the next ep of The Vampire Diaries comes out, and I already feel that, given my Chuck-less existence (gah, why is no one showing the greatest show on earth in the Philippines, exactly?), that Glee is now a variety show with a plot every few days, and that everybody wants me to not see GG on Thursdays, I clearly will not get anywhere without cyber yelling my frustrations over the TVD break.

Let's just start with me saying I honestly find TVD legitimately awesome now, not just awfsome* TV fun. It's most definitely parts the Buffy-esque dialogue, the existence of Caroline Forbes, the shirtlessness, the fast reveals and everyone being ridiculously attractive. I mean, something has to be up in a town where literally everyone is beautiful, right? It's so much fun, is what I mean.

And I love it, so these are really just thoughts. Usually the show does tie everything up in sweet little bows, but the last few eps have had me going ehhhh. So some honest questions and speculations about TVD, in all spoilery probably glory, because I don't know how to edit. Also, watch out for the totes. (I swear, that word is such fun, such fun!)

1. So there were brilliant witches who were powerful enough to create the sun and moon curse, but they were not brilliant enough to stop at that, and had to make a counter-curse? Why, exactly? Or is this like Charmed, where you have to make a counter for every spell?
2. And these Mayan witches sealed that tomb with Petrova blood, because...they were originally from Bulgaria? Or could it be the other way around, with the Petrovas being originally from Central America? Engkk.
3. Then there's that. If we really just need Petrova blood to anti-curse the curse, why did Klaus not just get anyone from Kat's family? No one said it had to be the blood of the doppelganger. Perhaps semantics. And me being too too.
4. How hot is Jeremy going to get? Seriously, thank goodness the emo phase is over.
5. I love Caroline. I just have to say that again and again. She is my vote for ensemble dark horse, because Damon is the anti-hero.
6. I think is highly unfair of people to villify Bonnie so much. She's had incredible casualties in this whole deal, really. I mean, I totes would have set Damon on fire if he had killed my grandmother.
7. Although that part of it is really interesting to me: how viewers let Damon get away with so much, because he is "only loving Katherine" (and deep down, also because he is hot and Ian Somerhalder), while saying Bonnie is mean to him, when she in fact is "only loving her grandmother."
8. But ack. Bonnie and Jeremy??? Just no.
9. It was a little mean of Bonnie to treat Jeremy that way on their pseudo date, though. I didn't like that.
10. Though I love her struggle to work through her issues with Caroline, their friendship, her guilt. After all, that is most definitely her fault. She's the one who allowed and technically ordered Damon to 'heal' her. So the part where she's being heinous to Caroline was uncalled for,
11. Caroline and Tyler?!? Can a relationship handle so much hotness? But thank you.
12. I love Matt, and want him to move away from Mystic Falls. He is all that is sweet and innocent and good and bunnies. I want him to remain that way. Or at least be seen more.
13. Bonnie and Damon. Let's hope they stretch that tension out and kick us season four. (Hey, I'm hopeful) After all, look at GG: after Chair, there was no way to go but manwhore Nate, the wehateSerenabrigade, and pretend Chair fights. And Jenny, ugh Jenny.
14. I am like this because for this show, I want it the endgame to be OTP, Bamon and Forwood.
15. I've trawled the net for spoilers, and I agree with those who say endgame Elena is definitely becoming a vampire. It just seems to make more sense, if she stops being all tragic. I like Action Elena, not It's all on me Elena.  But I hope this doesn't happen this season. Although...
16. I say Katherine's redemption arc is going to involve her sacrificing herself for everyone, and thus freeing up some more of Nina Dobrev's time.
17. I really, really want the show to stop with this I'm black so I'm a witch thing. I mean, come on. TVD, you are better than that.
18. Why does everyone have to be an orphan in some form?
19. I love the interaction between Tyler and his mom. They are both so awww.
20. Sometimes, the soundtrack distracts me.
21. I am at the same time, scared of the possibility of Bonnie dying as a season finale. Because she is kinda mean, and still one-dimensional for me. Which was really how Vicki was going, except in that case, it was totes a good decision to kill her off. But Bonnie...please, give her more to do!
22. How bad-ass is Elijah? Dude uses coins to break windows. Coins. Windows. 
23. Is it weird to feel sad over the Scholastic Vampire dying? (Ack, I forgot his name, but since he has like a thousand degrees and language learnings, he is now the SV.) But really, he was a vamp nerd! A hot vamp nerd! Why kill that?
24. Ack, it's too long till December 2!!!

This is a long-winded way of saying, TVD, come back. I miss Caroline and Damon and random murdering of innocents and not so innocents.

*just FYI, anytime I can, I really will reference How I Met Your Mother. I just like the words! And I really want to be called Anna Westside by someone. Or have the capability to say 'Lawyered'. Sigh.

Foppotee is me.

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Animals and plants are not the only things being endangered.

The people at Oxford Dictionary have some sad news: because of non-use, we lose hundreds of words from the English language yearly. Today, we only use roughly around 7,000 words to communicate!

Thus, everyone is being encouraged to adopt these endangered words and use it as often as they can.

I've already adopted the word 'foppotee'.

Screenshot of site

Be a hero, save a word!

***All information paraphrased from the Savethewords site.

Do you dream of books?

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I have a lot of dreams.

I dream of traveling the world, of one day setting foot in places that interest me, and in some that don't, in areas that scare me, and areas that confuse me.

I dream of eating every food item atleast once, a dream which may be blocked by my inability to process vegetables, but hey, who knows?

I dream of learning a sport, any sport, properly and without giving up.

I dream of doing research on the random things that occupy my mind, because I really do find random things wonderful.

I dream of meeting the people that inspire me, and asking them silly questions.

I dream of writing a book, and maybe inspiring people through it.

And I've lived all of my dreams.

They're in books.

Books are the most amazing ways to dream, to live, to believe.

I know that there are those who will say why read when you can do, but I truly disagree.

You read, so you can do.

We should all do more to read.

**This photo is of Karl Lagerfeld's library/house, originally shown here, from my new favorite site, bookshelfporn. Someday, I will be on that site. Sigh. Another dream.**
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But what kind of heart doesn't look back?
All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

This song by Sara Bareilles makes my heart hurt.

Why,why,why am I so sad and sappy?

random rambles: the cemetery

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These are some of the things that went through my mind, on the trip to Holy Cross for Kuya:

1. I can't quite believe it, but so much has changed in our neighborhood. Our old playground is gone, there are houses on the main road, there are less trees, and more people. I want to apologize to the trees for the inconvenience. After all, weren't they here first? Or did someone plant them, to make our village look nicer?
2. I know so little about the place I live in, it's sad. But then again, my mother's manicurist has said it often enough: I should go outside, talk to people my age, do things that people my age do.
3. I've never followed her advice. Well I did try to, once. I tried talking to my seatmate in the tricycle, because Sola insisted that he knew who I was, and I kept saying I didn’t. We had a nice conversation.
4. But I have yet to try again.
5. If only oil and water were interchangeable. Then petrol wouldn't be necessary.
6. Can we really just STOP making ACTEX happen? I get it, it's because of SCTEX. But the road quality (is that a word?) is so far, it's not even funny.
7. Although I do really like the photo taking computer.
8. I keep remembering wanting to be a toll booth operator.
9. Billboards are an interesting thing, aren't they? I mean, I've honestly never seen a billboard for anything that whetted my interest enough to actually want to buy the product. Mostly, when I see a billboard, I think, wow, s/he looks awesome. And yet, they continue to pile up and around, till they're all you see.
10. I realize that I am going past some of the things that mean so much. Home. Holy. Napocor, San Vicente, the airport. The MRT line, the NCP compound, OMM Citra, Quezon Avenue station. Circle. My life in places, scattered, but seemingly straight.
11. I think I'm changing my mind. That billboard of the giant shoe for Otto is rather nice. I love yellow.
12. I think shoes are the greatest.
13. I miss school. I miss knowing that the rest of my life is still out there. So many things are up to us, now. As JK Rowling said, there is a limit on the things you can blame your parents for. And, well, I've never seen the point in blaming my parents for anything, really. All they ever do is love me.
14. How great would it be, once all our dreams come true? Sometimes, that thought just tickles me at random moments.
15. Past Trinoma. It's different now, with the transport terminal, and the colour thingies outside Landmark. The last time I was there, they were changing the flooring (hopefully to something less bathroom tile-y).
16. All things are different now.
17. I do wonder why SM wanted that whole waterfall effect in front. It just looks like a lot of rain, to me.
18. And when you go past and see the Philippine College of Physicians (I may be wrong, I am not sure) building sandwiched between the SM Annex-es, it just makes you smile over the story. It's nice to know that there are people that can't be bullied.
19. I do love Pan de Manila, and the utter randomness with which I see branches of it. I remember my happiness at discovering a new branch behind OMM. I wonder if my former officemates still go there, and if they ever tried the ice cream.
20. I think HBC is an admirable company. It's nice to see all Filipino stuff. Also, I am a fan of their hair crème.
21. Ahh, traffic. Guess we're near.
22. Sometimes, I kind of doubt all that I've read about driving being a sleeper skill. I still overshoot my distances, and I kind of don't know how to do anything. Agh.
23. Rooney is such a fun band. Why have I only discovered them now?
24. I wish we'd get internet soon, so I can download/watch the latest eps of the Vampire Diaries and Chuck.
25. I'm so afraid and yet so ready for Chuck to be on its last this season. There are just some things that have to end, I guess.
26. Also, I kind of feel bored by this season. I mean, it's still Chuck. But there is something not there. I hope the next few eps make me regret saying that.
27. On to the Vampire Diaries, that show rocks, on all levels.
28. I mean, I always thought I would dislike vampire stuff forever now, thanks to Twilight. But I kind of really adore this show. It reminds me of Buffy!
29. My favorite VD character is Caroline. She's so layered, and Candice Accola is awesome. I cried some when she was compelling her mom to forget her.
30. All those scenes where Nina Dobrev is playing both prot/anta are great. You can see, even from her eyes, that she's a different character. And it's not just her, the rest of them are awesome too. Kaching, acting! It's nice to see that some CW shows so get good actors in them.
31. Although I really do love Elena and Stefan together. I rarely vote for the OTP, but I love them.
32. And on the never gonna happen, but oh, wouldn't it be awesome! Pairing: Damon and Bonnie. I just love me some Somerhalder. He was great and gone too soon on Lost, and here, he is And great at being Damon. And I love Bonnie. She isn't Willow, but she's awesome too.
33. Wow, I am such a fan girl.
34. And I haven't even mentioned Gossip Girl yet! I love GG. And I sincerely hope they never do Dan and Blair. Ugh.
35. I am still reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I am purposely dragging it out, because it is a great book.
36. It makes me cry, and Oskar is currently breaking my heart.
37. "Things were happening around us, but nothing was happening between us." (JSF)
38. okay. But it's fading for me, and fast. Someone rescue Glee's plot, quick!
39. Also, no Puck, no love for me. He would have been an awesome FrankNfurter. And yes, it would have been out of character, but it's Glee. Nothing is ever out of character.
40. I wish Glee would have a boybands special. I imagine Puck doing mmmbop. Hahaha.
41. Although I wish even more for Glee to become a normal television show again. Please. The heart is gone, people. :(
42. "Maybe he didn't say he loved me, because he loved me." (JSF)
43. We're here!
44. I wonder, will I be the sort to have my own mausoleum? But then...I semi kind of want to be cremated, and scattered...well, okay, not the scatter part. Nature has been through enough.
45. But being buried seems scary.
46. Lots of people here.
47. Sometimes, I remember one of our textathons when you said you had someone you visited in this cemetery, as well. Most visits I find myself looking around, thinking, who is visiting your someone now?
48. I wish we could bury feelings as easily as we do the physical stuff.
49. Then, maybe when we feel like it, we can visit them, and give them gifts.
50. That way, I could visit the feelings in our relationship, and give it: a butterfly pin, random notes, and perhaps a transcript of the last ill fated call.
51. And I could visit my failures, and bring them a copy of my diploma, the one I still don't have because I lost my slip.
52. And my past happy times, who I would bring cupcakes to. Sweets for the sweet, as they say.
53. And I could bring iced tea to the anger, in the hopes of cooling it down, down, down.
54. And most importantly, I could run away from them, never to come back.
55. Back to the graveyard, isn't it fun to see everyone this way? We're crammed, by choice. Cemeteries are like that, unfortunately.
56. Personally, I am very conscious of my personal bubble. I hate it when people go past it.
57. There really ARE a lot of different things people do to while away the time. I read, and listen to music, while butting in to the family conversation.
58. I know I said I don’t like her. But Katy Perry is effing addicting. I can't stop listening to Hummingbird Heartbeat. Ack.
59. I stare at my brother, wondering how there he is.
60. I stare at my other brother, wondering and marveling at what he's become.
61. A child, a girl in pigtails and a blue dress, is blowing bubbles behind me. Sometimes, they even reach me. I smile at her, and remember gumamela shards, and a certain little boy who liked to play at science.
62. I see a group of people playing patintero, and I remember school grounds, and death matches, of boys versus girls.
63. I even remember a cloudy afternoon, in front of school, a conversation about hygiene, tattoos, and the one girl who has never let me down, no matter how hard I make her.
64. We're going!
65. Goodbye for now, Kuya. Remember my letters.
66. Do you get them? Sometimes I wonder if burning them is a good idea. But I don't want to bury them. I am not going to be like the Renter. But then again, should I be burning things? The ozone layer isn't going to like that.
67. I want pizza. Can you believe they sell pizza in the cemetery?
68. And there is also scramble. Am I the only one silly enough to be thinking that scramble is better on the streets? I know it is now some sort of craze. But still.
69. I also want froyo. Heavens, this addiction to yogurt cannot be good for me. I'm as bad with yogurt as I am with apples!
70. And carrot cake. It serves me right, to find that my carrot cake replacement for Chokiss carrot cake is still largely inaccessible. I think my possible replacement is the Sonja's bunny hugger cupcake. Alas, Serendra. If only.
71. Food. I think about food a lot.
72. Ack billboards again.
73. Honestly, Enchong Dee and Kim Chiu look really nice in the Coke ad. So cute.
74. I wonder if the Krispy Kreme savories taste as good as their sweets. Although I do sort of think that Krispy Kreme is a bit too sweet.
75. I am a Cello's girl, through and through.
76. I miss Denden.
77. Harry Potter in a while! Is everyone excited!?? Because, it is obvs not going to be as great as what you imagine but still. It's going to be EPIC.
78. And I am really grateful that they aren't 3ding it. I hate 3D. Can that fad please blow over?
79. I wish Scott Pilgrim would get shown. I truly wish.
80. I am so glad my Zen is now working. Thank goodness.
81. I have so much to do, and it excites me. How not normal am I?
82. Sometimes, I really wish someone read my blog. :)
83. I wonder what Christmas this year will bring. I hope it's more than all the sales being advertised. Although, well, that's great too.
84. I want to see everyone again.
85. I hope I get to reach Glee. I want to see their Rocky Horror, and I fell asleep last time cause of the Mega friends.
86. I also hope there is a VD replay tonight, cause I need me some Damon. Sigh. I am not on anyone's team or anything, but I love Ian Somerhalder. He is almost as awesome as Zachary Levi.
87. I do wonder if vampires exist. But if they did, I'd also hope that fairies, and leprechauns, and werewolves, and zombies did.
88. I wonder if Ted will ever meet the mother. And I have a weird feeling that it's going to be Barney and Robin in the end.
89. How glad are you that they're taking pains to restore the characters to season 3 glory? I hated post-breakup Barney and Robin last season.
90. And as always, nothing but love, love, love for Lily and Marshall. Because if ever I do get married, I'd want the relationship to be something like that.
91. Which just goes to show how unlikely a future event marriage is for me. Oh, unreality, how exciting you are!
92. My brother keeps shining the torchlight of his phone at me. Eurgh.
93. Cars are awesome.
94. I just saw a Mini Cooper. Love.
95. Home. In a few.
96. I am so glad there is no work tomorrow. Sigh. I mean, I love my job, but I also love vacation. Haha
97. I hope someone surprises me with something great tomorrow.
98. Home. Now.
99. Glee!
100. And VD later!
101. Why am I so shallow?