heartbreak, hello.

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"This is a fundamental truth about endings: 
you have to be able to face losing some things 
you might want in order to 
be free to do the right thing."
(Dr. Henry St. Cloud, Necessary Endings)

I've been reading this book. I always have this view of myself as being able to separate the feelings from the doings and what have you but it still hurts. No matter how much I feel that decisions like this are the right one (ish, sorta, maybe?!), there is still this part of me that knows there are so many other things I could still do, parts of me that I can focus on instead of this. 
But it's so hard to veer away from what I want. 
And so I don't and I just break a little piece of me off to get to the Me I want/need to be.
I wish I could see into the future and know that this is right.
But I don't.
So I take all the buts, the ifs, the maybes and throw them away. 

I have to focus on the positive. 
I have to, I have to, I have to.