Enchanté*

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It's for reals now!

I am taking French at Alliance Francaise! 

One of my goals is to know why my books are named AlterEgo. :)

One of my 2012 goals is to to learn French. A big inspiration for this decision is Trophy Friend C, who is currently studying Espanol at Instituto Cervantes. I was always on the fence about this because I was afraid of the time commitment, but I figure, surely I can do it too, if C is finding time for her lessons. Especially because Instituto is all the way over in Manila, while Alliance is basically my neighbor. Truthfully, I'm praying that I will be able to do well in this. I never took French in school, I did Spanish and Italian. Hopefully, I will do okay, as this is another Romance language.

I don't really want to fully explain why French, mostly because I don't like jinxing things. Let's just go with I'm taking French because it's the language of my Dream/s. Well, one of the languages for the achievement of my Dream/s, anyway. (I sincerely wish I were less of a nerd. While everyone around me is quarter-life-crisis-ing, I'm actually sure of where I want to end up. As to the getting there, oh well papelllll. Ick.)

My starting session was last weekend. 

It was so FUN!

Mostly because, I miss school, honestly. Not just the hang out part, but the meeting new people, learning new stuff everyday part of it. Sure, I have that at work but it's not the same. There's a different kind of fulfillment in learning about something because you want to, rather than the because you need it for a report. Which isn't to knock work, it just feels...less, for me.

It was an interesting mix of people, all ready to learn about French. All ages, all places, one of them even a couple. (They always help each other out during recitation, so awww-inducing. :D )

All in all, it was great. I met some interesting new people, and now I have this glowy feeling about it all.

I'm still praying that my pronunciation will get better. Hopefully, I'm getting there. 

*Enchante is a French word that roughly means, 'Nice to Meet You'. It's how I feel about French, exactly. :)

I very rarely, barely miss you.

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Time (This book is nice, btw. You'd have liked it, film references aside.)
But there are things, there are times, there are people, that remind me of us, when Us was all that Mattered. I've never been any good at this, the part where you tell someone they matter. I always prefer to show it, and I always hope that everyone I do love understands that, feels that, sees me.

You didn't, and that's why we broke you.

You were always so much better at the words, that it never really mattered when the actions failed. I never really thought it did, and that's why it took so long. :)

And now, November is only a few moments away, and I feel like it's clomping near, and threatening and reminding.

I really don't know what to say.

Except, possibly, this:


Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.
Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up (On second thought, maybe not.)



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"You know something?
Nothing's easy. 
Seriously, there's nothing easy.
There's always something complicated and difficult if you really want 
to give 150 % in anything you do."

(Jessica Walker)

Thank goodness for family and good food and books and prayers and modern medicine and understanding and everlasting friendships and letters that make you remember.
I think I know now what that this is it, truly.
I have to make this work, because quitting to quit isn't who I am. 
I know and I pray it will all fall into place. :)
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You ever walk into a situation where you know exactly what's going to happen, and then you go into it, anyway? Then, when what you're afraid of happens, you kick yourself. Because...you should have known better.
 (Mary Margaret, Once Upon A Time)

I once promised myself I would stop feeling feelings. I wish I kept better promises to myself. Everyone around me keeps telling me to follow my own advice. Perhaps I should give that a go.

Sigh. I hate when times change, and people go along with it! These days, the push and the pull of my own happenings have made it difficult to do more than just float along but I still hope I do my best. 

I've never been good with showing people how much they really mean to me. But I really, really, really try my best, all the time. Sadly, like the song, my best 'ain't good enough.'


The reason why I am single is...

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because I am seriously the most boring person in the world.

My favorite activities include running, sleeping, reading, writing, and watching everyone/everything else around me move.

All my jokes are corny, I am a fail at being stylish, I'm really weird-looking....I could go on and on, but mostly, yep, I'm totally boring. Who leaves parties when they're just starting???

Sigh.

I wish I could be a different person, but truthfully, I kinda like being me. 
It's not my fault no one else does.


***A rather sad post, I'm afraid. I'm just so sads and disappointed with people. I don't understand why they just think they can hurt me. I don't understand why I let it happen.

Someone has totes stolen my heart.

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And I don't think I want it back.

Smash Project 2012!

Went to Smash Project 2012 last week. Sigh. It was a four-way concert, with The Cab, Cobra Starship, The Used and Dashboard Confessional. I was there for Dashboard Confessional, as one of my wishes in life is to hear 'As Lovers Go' performed live. And holy awesome performance, Batman!

Chris Carraba was the only solo performer (he didn't have the rest of Dashboard Confessional with him, for some reason) but he was also the BEST.

I seriously still feel intense happiness just remembering that rendition of As Lovers Go. I want to marry that performance.

GAH, if only my Future Boyfriend were like that. Sigh.

*Photo courtesy of Coeli Tagumpay.