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"Because you can
go back."

(Donna, Suits)


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I just want everything to be in their respective corners and places and spaces.

I want friends to be friends and everyone else to be in that space.Where they should be.

I don't like when everyone overlaps and confuses me into weird thoughts and feelings and actions.

Everyone keeps telling me that's a weird thing to want, but well.

I just want everything to be in order.

Is that not a normal thing to want?

*In a semi-debate with N, as he finds my views and my life quite contrary. Belat. :D

To me, Love is all that is Loud and Crazy and Happy.

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I haven't been writing lately. Mostly because of work, slightly because I feel a little daunted by all the stuff I want to write about, and, also because my journal's been taking beating lately with all the private crazy thoughts.

But I realized I barely have any vacation updates, so I just want to share my favorite vacation moment from May*:

One of the things I love to do is go be with my Lolo Abel whenever I can. As he's no longer here, it's a bit difficult. My grandfathers (as both are part of this, somewhat) are two of the reasons why I'm spoiled rotten. My Lolo Abel, in particular, was always a steady presence, giving me everything I ever needed. He was funny and kind, and everything I ever needed. I miss him like crazy.

Ooops, digression. :)

My favorite moments from this trip all involve our visits to Lolo, because I have the most insane family in the world. You know how in cemeteries, everyone's tendency is to keep quiet and be all formal, and sad, and mopey? My family is the opposite of that.

Where others cry, :)

I know it's a little weird, but at the same time, it's incredibly us.We aren't the sort to dwell on the sadness, or the problems. Why grumble when you can giggle, why shout when you can sing, why be anything but happy, is what my family has always taught me.

And even though right now, my heart is confused and hurting, all I need to do is look at these photos, or call one of the cousins, and I'll feel better.

Because they always remind me that Love is supposed to be Happy. :)

*I apologize for the shoddy mosaic-ing skillz. I at least took very little of the photos there, so you can actually see people!
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Answer; n; Maybe is always safest but it's never satisfying.

(David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary)
*You always make me want to tear out my hair, and laugh, and cry, and be giddy. I try to skip out on you, and yet you keep reminding me you're there. I'm not there yet, you're never going to be there anymore, and yet...I don't quite get how this is happening anymore. Me no likey. :/