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V.: Tell me the truth in
      no uncertain terms. 

(David Levithan / The Lover's Dictionary on Twitter)


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"Hold on. You just said you wanted to love and be loved!"

"Yes. But when it happens, I feel nauseous. It's crazy!"

(Jesse and Celine, Before Sunset)

I hate buses now, thanks to you.

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"Oh Charlie. We accept the love we think we deserve."

(Bill, The Perks of Being A Wallflower)

I cannot quite accept that it happened.

So let's forget it.

Denial always, always works. 

Scary Thoughts (Or, how I'm not stressing over business planning because I'm stressing over my Life)

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I had dinner with one of my friends in Maginhawa yesterday. 

As has always been the case when you're with people you've been away from for any period of time, talk turns to all the aspects of life. Although technically, we're only ever interested in One Aspect of Life. The Love Life.

Bemoaning singleness is something I enjoy doing, at times, and with the right people. It can be a bit of a rush, just mouthing off the fact that most guys are jerks, and no one measures up and all that chararat* about being unlovable and unhappy.

The thing of it is, as I told my friend (and she also confirmed about herself), I'm not unhappy. I'm single, and that's fine.

Sure, it gets tiring at times, especially when you want to go to the movies, or out to dinner or to Laser Tag. But then, I'm the type of person who can go it alone. I'm okay with movies alone, new places alone...possibly not Laser Tag alone, I'm not that weird independent. And I have friends. :)

And she was all, 'But see, that's scary. It's scary that you're so happy. You're so used to being alone, that it doesn't matter. And you don't give off want-to-be-in-a-relationship vibes anymore, cause you're happily single.' She also relayed to me this whole theory of one of her friends, who said that people need to un-single-fy themselves, because when they've been single for so long, they forget how to deal with having another person there.

Which, well. Sort of locks into my theory/observation (Okay, musings. Theory seems too grand a word for it. Haha) that people who are in relationships always tend to stay in relationships, while people who are single, tend to stay single. I just notice among my friends that those who've been single for a while tend to meander, and those who just got out of break ups, get into relationships pretty fast. Ofcourse, these are all things I'm unsure about. Still. It's kind of awe-inspiring. :)

So perhaps that's part of the reason why I'm still single: I don't give off relationship vibes? I talked this over with another friend of mine, and her comment was more, but how does one give off relationship vibes???

Which admittedly, is a pretty large flaw of this whole possibility. Short of an 'I'm Actively Wishing for a Relationship kthanksbai' on one's forehead, how are you supposed to tell people you want someone? 

My answer is, I don't know. 

I don't know how you tell people you like them and sincerely want them to come just a teeny bit closer, so you can see if they like the same music, or want to go on a sushi hunt, or an ice cream run. I don't know how to stop being everyone's friend. (Oops, thoughts for another day!)

And I'm not certain if there is now a permanent 'Back-Off, Happily Single!' sign on my own forehead, but still.

These are the sort of thoughts that one should get lost in. Especially when in the real world, all I'm dealing with is 2013 Business Planning.

*As my friends say. :)
**As I get older, I notice my writing has gotten lazier. The 23-year old me would never have posted this without a proper ending. But here it goes. I think it's knowing that I still know so little that's doing the trick. Which is also not a good thing. Hmmm.